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  • 13.12.2017
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Vegetable in anus

Have you ever looked at a vegetable and thought, I wonder what that would feel like shoved up my arse? I'm probably being kind with the word curious to be honest, because this man actually got himself a cassava root and carved it into the shape of a penis before he shoved it up his bum. As you can imagine, using an inch vegetable with a 3-inch girth as a sex toy is never going to go well and he was soon at the San Juan de Dios Hospital in San Jose having the thing removed. He also needed reconstructive surgery on his intestines, according to local reports. Safety first however, the year-old unnamed man did double bag the edible sex toy to make sure he wasn't going to get some kind of rotten veg STI hybrid thing.
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Vegetable in anus
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Man Has 18-Inch Vegetable Removed From His Anus After Carving It Into Sex Toy

Disclaimer: Some of you might remember this column from a few years back when we still lived at Viceland. Tragically, when we moved to VICE. Hey, you rapidly decaying protoplasmic sacks of calcium and shit, my name is Dr. Mona Moore. Obviously, that is not my real name, but I am a real doctor.
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